The Yuffie Adventures
by neko-valentine
Summary: Yuffie goes on a little adventure!! Vincent, Sephiroth, Rinoa, Kain, and myself go too!!!
1. Default Chapter

The Yuffie Adventures  
  
Ch.1 - A Weird Day By Neko Valentine  
  
One day in the middle of a forest (imagine it to be Mideel forest of something) a little theif/ninja named Yuffie Kisaragi spotted a strange looking man while she was looking for materia. The guy looked like he had bunny ears coming out of his hair, but then Yuffie realised that it accually WAS his hair. The guys' name was Ashley Riot (Yuffie didn't know this of course!).  
  
'He he!' she thought. 'I'll just steal from this guy! He he!'  
  
She approached the guy from behind, but noticed a long sword hanging at his side so she thought it better if she just followed him. Suddenly, for reasons unknown except to the auther, Vincent Valentine appeared in front of her.  
  
"Agggg!!" Yuffie cried. "Vincent, what the hell are you doing here?!"  
  
Vincent shrugged. "Un-un..."  
  
"Well, you can help me then!"  
  
"Huh....?"  
  
Yuffie grabbed Vincent by the sleeve and dragged him after the guy (Ashley walked away, just to let you know).  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
After an hour of following the guy, Yuffie and Vincent lost the guy.  
  
"What the f**** is this?!?!" Yuffie cried in a high pitched, squeaky voice. "How could we loose him?!?!?!"  
  
"Dunno...." Vincent said, shrugging.  
  
Yuffie sighed. "Don't you know anything? Or are you just TRYING to act like an airhead vampire?"  
  
".........."  
  
"Huh?!"  
  
"......dunno....."  
  
Yuffie smucked Vincent up the side of his little black haired head and Vince gave her a very hurt look (he looked very weird but cute all the same!). This melted Yuffie's heart so she glomped on to his arm and nuzzled it in a very babyish manner.  
  
"Sorry, Vin-vin!" she said.  
  
Vincent looked very pleased with himself. "I know."  
  
Suddenly, (dun, dun, dun! Ohhhhhh, the suspence!) Rinoa stepped out of a nearby tree. "Hi ya!" she said.  
  
Yuffie let go of Vincent. "Hi, Rinoa!"  
  
"....hi, Rinoa......" Vincent said, looking disapointed.  
  
"Hey, Rinoa?" Yuffie asked. "Have you seen any weird lookin' guys around here?"  
  
Rinoa pointed to Vincent. Yuffie slapped her forehead.  
  
"Nooo! Besides him!"  
  
Vincent looked puzzled. "Huh?"  
  
"Umm..." 'I haven't,' Rinoa thought. 'But Im not gonna tell her that! Then she'll play with me!' Rinoa laughed maniacally.  
  
Yuffie blinked. "So.... have you?"  
  
"Uh... yeah! Just that way!" She pointed to the left.  
  
"Okay, thanks! Say, do ya wanna come with us?"  
  
"Okay!"  
  
Happy music started to play somewhere in the backround as the three started walking. Vincent shuddered. He would have to find whoever was playing it and chop them up into little, tiny pieces.  
  
It got really boring, so Yuffie decided to start a conversation.  
  
"Umm.." she said.  
  
"Uh..." Rinoa said.  
  
"Huh?" Vincent said.  
  
"So, Rinoa," Yuffie said. "Hows life in the FF8 world?"  
  
"Oh, it's pretty good," she said. "Besides the fact that Squall thinks he's Luke Skywalker so I can't take him to a toystaore or he'll try to kill cardboard Darth Vaders, oh and the fact that Zell tried to stuff thirty hotdogs in his mouth at once."  
  
"Did he manage to do it?"  
  
"No. He nearly choked to death. Umm," she began to count on her fingers here. "Irvine's hitting on me, Seifer's trying to kill Squall, Selfie's being perky, Quistis is a asshole teacher, Edea's talking in sentance fragments, Cid's being an old fart-"  
  
Suddenly, the auther (that's me!) appeared and manifested herself as a cat- girl with a blue turtle-tank (like Yuffie's) and tan shorts (which had a tail poking out of 'em). She had short pink hair and light brown fur. "Hi!" she said.  
  
"How cute!!" Rinoa said, looking at the auther with glassy eyes. "A kitty cat!!"  
  
The auther fumed. "A-kitty-cat-??? Me-???"  
  
Rinoa innocently put her index finger to her mouth. "But you are, aren't you?"  
  
"Rinoa!!" Yuffie shrieked. "You can't just go around insulting the auther like that!!! It's suicide!!!!!"  
  
"Huh??"  
  
The auther got an evil smirk. "Let me show you!!" She unseethed her claws and scratched Rinoa kind of like Meowth on Pokemon does to Jesse and James(didn't expect THAT one, now did ya??). Rinoa had numerus scratches all over her face.  
  
"Ouch..." she said before falling over.  
  
Yuffie looked down at her with pity in her eyes. "Told ja.."  
  
"Hah hah!!" the auther laughed. "That's what you get for calling Neko Valentine, scratchy cat-girl extraordinaire, a "kitty-cat"!!"  
  
Suddenly Sephiroth came running in and shmacked into Vincent. He had a extremly hunted look on his face.  
  
"You have to save me from her!!!!!!!!" he screamed.  
  
"Who?" Rinoa (who got fully recovered) asked.  
  
"Aeris!! She's a little POed at me for running her through and making her Centra on a really, really long sword. Now she's trying to kill me!!"  
  
"Don't worry Seph," Neko said. "I won't let her hurt ya!"  
  
Sephiroth wiped his forehead. "Phew!"  
  
All of a sudden, Aeris popped up and hit Sephiroth into the stratusphere with her ultamite weapon.  
  
"I thought you said you wouldn't let her hurt meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Sephiroth screamed, still flying throught the stratusphere.  
  
"I said I wouldn't let her hurt you!!!!! Hurt and kill are two totaly different things!!!!!!!!!"  
  
"Hey," Rinoa said. "Where'd Aeris go?"  
  
That wind blowing sound could be heard as everyone looked around and notices Aeris' took off. She took something of great value too.  
  
".?!" Vincent said.  
  
"Whassa matter, Vince?" Yuffie asked. "You look paler than usual!!" She laughed at her joke.  
  
"..she.took my socks.! My vampire bat socks!! Aeris took my vampire bat socks!!!! WAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! Yuff, she took my socks!! She took my socks!! Wahhh!!!!"  
  
Vincent dropped to the ground on his butt and flailed his arms and legs wildly.  
  
"WAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
Yuffie blinked. "O...kaaaaay! This has been the weirdest day ever!  
  
~Fin of Ch.1~  
  
A/N: Well, what did you think?? Good, bad, you've seen dog-food write better? I wanna know! So, tell me!!!! OK, so stay toned for Ch.2 - Search For The Vampire Bat Socks! Well.. If you wanna review.. There's a little button at the bottom of the screen. I'd be very grateful!!!! Bye, ja!! Oh yeah, I'd like five reveiws, please!! 


	2. ch2 search for the vampire bat socks

A/N: Thank you JestaAriadne, the Three for reviewing my fic!!! At least SOMEbody was nice enough to!! Well, anyway, sorry for the wait for anybody who reads this piece of shit. I've had lots o' homework. (damn school... wish it would just burn and die...) Here is chapter 2!!!  
  
The Yuffie Adventures  
  
Ch.2 - The Search For The Vampire Bat Socks By neko_valentine  
  
Starting where we left of, Aeris had just stolen Vincent's vampire bat socks (that bitch!!) so now me (Neko!), Yuffie, and Rinoa are trying (trying, not saying we will) to help Vince find em. And then beat the shit out of Aeris! Cool, ne??  
  
Well, no. But anyways, all four of us were heading to Midgar to look for (and kill!) Aeris. As we were walking, Vince was crying on Neko's shoulder (which was EXTREMLY difficult because I'm only 4'11" and he's, like, 6'0" so can you imagine the back pain he's gonna have!) and muttering at the same time.  
  
"She ::sniff:: took my ::sniff:: bat socks...."  
  
"There there, we're gonna find your socks. Don't worry," Neko said while patting his shoulder.  
  
Yuffie and Rinoa walked beside them. "So how come you don't just use your autherly powers to get the socks back?" Yuffie asked.  
  
"Yeah!" Rinoa added.  
  
"You make it sound sooooo easy doncha?!?! I'm not perfect you know!!! I just started a new school and my mom's been mean all summer and I'd have NOOO plot (not that there is one) in the story and now this!! I have a life too ya know!! (a pathetic one, but a life)  
  
"............"  
  
Vincent looked up and patted Neko's shoulder. "There there, we're gonna find you're socks. Don't worry."  
  
Yuffie and Rinoa snickered.  
  
Neko turned bright red. "I"LL KILL YOU ALL!!!!!!!!!!" She took out the masamune (which she filched from Sephiroth before he was blasted into the atmosphere) and started to chase Yuffie and Rinoa around.  
  
"Whoops!!" they said while still laughing.  
  
"YOU WILL DIIIIIEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
For SOME reason, Sephiroth appeared next to Vince and stared at Neko in disbelief.  
  
"Hey, isn't that... MY sword?"  
  
Vincent nodded. "....yes..... I believe so....."  
  
Sephiroth started chasing after Neko. "Gimme back my sword!!"  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
After about 3 hours of Neko chasing Yuff and Rinoa and Seph chasing Neko, (and Vince taking more than a few asprin) Neko dropped the sword, caught Yuff and Rinoa, beat them till they said 'uncle', and took a few much needed deep breaths.  
  
"Hey Sephiroth, you wanna join us on our journey?" Neko asked him.  
  
"Sure, what the hey!"  
  
Yuffie and Rinoa were relieved Neko forgot them...... for now anyways....  
  
Thay all started on their journey once more and soon came to an evil looking forest (oh no) that looked like it was made of stone. On the horizon, they could make out a few short, dwarfy (dwarfy, hah!) looking people.  
  
"What the hell is this and who the hell are they??" Yuffie asked, rather impatiently.  
  
Rinoa shrugged. "Soooo, what do we do about this?" She pointed to the stoned lookin' forest.  
  
"I could cut our way through," Sephiroth said, holding up the masamune. "I have a giant weed wacker!!"  
  
Everyone sweatdroped.  
  
"No no," Neko said. "I don't think that'll be necessary, Sephy." A lightbulb appeared above her head. "Hey! I just got a great idea!!" The lightbulb fell on her head. "Ouch!! Anyways, why don't we all go to my house and find the socks from there???"  
  
"Yeah!" Vince said joyfully. (well, as joyfully as Vince CAN get... that's not very joyful..)  
  
"Sure, why not!" Yuffie agreed.  
  
"Okay," Rinoa said.  
  
"Fine," Seph said.  
  
"Now," Neko said. She got a weird british accented voice. "Close your eyes and tap your heels together three times. Say "there's no place like the auther's house, there's no place like the auther's house" ....."  
  
Vince looked at Neko as if she'd grown another head. "You can't be serious..."  
  
"Someones watched to wizard of oz one too many times..." Yuffie muttered.  
  
Neko glared at them. "Do it or I'll kill you all and dump your bodies in a lake." They didn't look scared. "Or let you pay a visit to the Telutubies, which ever you prefer..."  
  
They all gulped and tapped their heels together.  
  
"There's no place like the auther's house, there's no place like the auther's house.." they all said in unison. (they're really good at that aren't they?)  
  
All of a sudden, (which might have been five minutes later, never know with me...) they all felt fuzzy and tingly. And then they all faded into black...  
  
A/N: Neko here. What did you think of ch.2?? The end kind of sounded like a mystery, but OH WELL!!! Next ch your gonna find out about my ROOM!!!!! ISN"T THAT GREAT?!!?!? No, not really. And the wizard of oz was a good movie dammit!!! 


	3. ch3 Neko and Her Hell Hole! I mean room...

Thank you to SephirothsAngel and practikalmagik!! At least now I got three reviews instead of one. I LOVE YA!!!!  
  
The Yuffie Adventures  
  
Ch.3 - Neko and Her Hell Hole (I mean bedroom!!)  
  
Ok, when we last left off the gang just got sent into the dark abyss, soon to arrive at the hell hole I call a bedroom. So, basically, they're just floating around in the black abyss thingy, waiting for Neko (me!) to teleport 'em to her room.  
  
"Umm, Neko!" Yuffie asked. "Can we stop floating now and GO TO YOUR ROOM ALREADY!?!"  
  
"Trust me," Neko said, important-like (sheesh! I am waaaayyyy too egotistical), "you don't wanna see it. But... if you insist..." She snapped her fingers and the gang went through a wormhole type thingy and ended up in a playground type thingy.  
  
Rinoa gawked at the school in the backround. "This... is where you live...?"  
  
"Oh, shit..." Vincent said as he realised where they were.  
  
Neko realised where they were too. "Oh, shit is right!!!"  
  
"What is it?" asked Sephiroth.  
  
"Where are we?" asked Rinoa.  
  
Yuffie smirked. "Not your house, huh?"  
  
"Shit no!!!!" Neko screeched. "You think I would live with-"  
  
"Hello boys and girls!!" said a voice behind them.  
  
The group turned around and screamed something that rhymes with puck.  
  
"AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" thay screamed after. (that was a loooonnnnggggg scream!)  
  
They turned to face the most horrible thing on the face of the earth, that not even a cat-o-nine-tails could compare to, big, fat, annoying, purple dinosaur. "I love you!" it sang. "You love me!"  
  
"AAAAHHHHHGGGGG!!!!!!!" Sephiroth screamed. "F%&$ing hell! Why do you torture us so, Neko!?!?!?"  
  
"Snap your fingers, Neko!!!" Yuffie bellowed. "Snap em!!!! SNAP EM!!!!!"  
  
"Happiness!!" Vincent cried. "Aggg!! Noooo!!! Get it away from meeeeee!!!!!!!!"  
  
"Done and done!!!" Neko said as she snapped her fingers and they ended up in the wormhole type thingy again.  
  
"For Lucifer's sake!!!" Vincent exclaimed. "Are you trying to kill us all??!!!?!"  
  
Neko shrugged. "At least he didn't hug us!"  
  
All shuddered.  
  
Rinoa suddenly looked around. "Hey," she said, "where's Sephiroth?"  
  
Back with Barney....  
  
"AGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!! Let go of me, you unworthy pieces of crap!!!!"  
  
The kids in the school, with Barney, have hog-tied Sephiroth to a pole (which they were now carrying) and heading towards the school.  
  
Kid 1: You say bad word.  
  
Kid 2: Bad words not nice.  
  
"What are you going to do with me...???"  
  
Barney smiled (as if he wasn't smiling that god-forsaken grin already). "We're gonna hug you and squeeze you until you wanna stay here with us!! Forever!!!"  
  
"NNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
Back to Neko and co.  
  
"Who cares?" Neko asked.  
  
"Not me!" Yuffie said.  
  
"Or me!" Vincent said happily.  
  
"Now that that's settled, we can go!" She snapped her fingers. Nothing happens. Neko 'hump!'ed. "Hold on, I'll check with my advisers.." Her eyes seemed to look up. "Uh-huh... Yeah... Right... I have to WHAT!!?!?!?!?? But- ! Hump!! Fine! Whatever!!" She turned back to the group (who looked at her funny). "For SOME reason, we have to get a new traveling buddy. Sooo, I'll get one!!"  
  
"Who's it gonna be??" Yuffie asked excitedly.  
  
"This guy!" She snapped her fingers and Kain from Soul Revier appeared.  
  
"Hello," he said. "My name is Kain and I am a vampire. Ha ha ha!!" He pointed to Vincent. "Just like that guy!"  
  
"I am not a vampire!!" said- why don't you guess?  
  
"Coulda fooled me!!!"  
  
"Kain, Kain," Neko said. "Don't wanna blow a gasket, now do ya?" She hugged his arm. "Now, come on! We gotta go to my house!" She snapped her fingers and they went through another wormhole type thingy.  
  
At the end of the wormhole thingy, the gang ended up on what looked like someones front yard. In front of them was a big brown and white house and behind them was a road and some more houses.  
  
"This," she said as she spread her arms wide, "is my house!!"  
  
"What a cute little house!" Rinoa said cheerfully.  
  
Yuffie frowned. "It's okay, I guess...."  
  
Kain stood there, stoic as ever. "It shall do, I supose."  
  
"....nice," Vincent said smirking.  
  
"Let's go inside," Neko said. "I have nosey neighboors, and they already think I'm weird. Imagine if they saw you guys!"  
  
"..........." they all said.  
  
"Let's go!" Neko said as she led them inside.  
  
Inside, they walked through a porch, a kitchen, a family room, over a hardwood floor, and into Neko's room. (it may sound big but it's not.) (the house, not my room)  
  
The room had a green carpet, (although you could hardly tell because of the mess) and two closets to the left of the door. A bed was straight from the door, along with a dresser, and a computer sat in the corner on a desk. (that's where I do all my writing! Typing! Sorry!)  
  
"This is my room! What do you think???" Neko looked very proud of it.  
  
'This looks just like my room!' Yuffie thinks. "This place rules!!" Yuffie says.  
  
"Could use a bit of cleaning..." Kain said.  
  
Vincent elbowed him in the ribs. "Kain!" he whispered. "Don't says such things! Unless you want to be thrown off that cliff like Razel!!!"  
  
Kain gulped. "I-it's nice, I mean..."  
  
Neko's eyes got all glassy. "You really think so, Kain...???" She hugged him. "You are SOOOO the best character I ever out in this othger than myself and Yuffie!!!"  
  
"Isn't this a cute little room!" Rinoa said cheerfully.  
  
Vincent, who was thinking of something smart to say to Neko, said, "Who shot who in the what now??"  
  
~Fin of Ch.3~  
  
A/N: Sooooo, whadda ya think of ch 3?!!?? It took me like a week to type 'cause my mean ass mom told me to 'GET THE HECK TO BED OR YOUR BUTT WILL BE SORE FOR A WEEK!!!' every time I tried to work on it! (I only feel right working on it in the evening) Anyways, next ch. or two will be full of Aeris bashing!! Ja! 


End file.
